Tuesday, July 24, 2012

"You're Gonna Miss This"


Oh my goodness it has been a while since I blogged. It isn’t that I haven’t had a million and 3 things to blog about, it is simply finding the time to sit down with my thoughts and write… for that I am sorry.

On to my thoughts….

5 months and 2 weeks old today. I can’t believe it. I seriously can’t believe our baby girl is SITTING UP all by herself! She has the most incredible laugh, she is holding her own bottle, eating sweet potatoes, has her very own signature happy dance, and she is pretty much happy all the time these days! I am loving this stage but sad that I missed out on so much of her infancy because of my exhaustion and need to get back to the old me as soon as possible. I wish I would have allowed everything to be as it was. I will certainly be more laid back with the second kiddo.

 Sloan and I were driving back from the grocery store this morning and the song “you’re gonna miss this” came on. I have always loved this song because it was me in a nut shell. I was always looking forward to the next stage in life. Here I am, almost 10 years out of high school and all of my dreams have come true, I had a great job, married a great man (by great, I mean incredible), lived in a super cute first home and made lots of great memories and now live in my dream home that I get to bring my babies home to and watch them grow up with the neighbor kids. God has given me everything I have ever wanted.

This song now carries a new meaning because I have a daughter that is out to conquer the world. Every day she is doing something new and we praise her and give confidence to do something else new but a day will come when I will want to push the breaks for her so she can sit back and enjoy the ride. I don’t want her to be a grown up… growing up is tough and full of heartbreak (i.e. .. having a child diagnosed with a life shortening disease) I want her to be reflective in the moments she has in her childhood. I hope that she has the very best childhood memories of playing with the Bascik boys and following their big sister around wanting to be just like her, of going to Amarillo and playing with her cousins, and of ski trips and boat trips that she will take with her daddy. I hope that she doesn’t rush out of high school and never look back. I have lots of regrets… maybe not regrets but wish I would have done some things different when it comes to maintaining friendships. Thank goodness for Facebook!!

As I read through some of my old posts the other day I just can’t believe how on point I was when I stated what I wanted for our daughter. There is not a day that will go by that she doesn’t know how loved and taken care of she is. In return, I want her to give back to those that do not have the love and comfort that she has. I know it’s early but I see a very kind heart in that little girl. She makes me so proud when she smiles at a stranger.. I feel like she wants to make their day better. I am so lucky to be Sloan’s mommy and love watching her grow and develop her mind and body. I think she likes me but I don’t know if she will ever truly understand the love I have for her until she holds her first born in her arms and completely surrenders.