Oh my goodness it has been a
while since I blogged. It isn’t that I haven’t had a million and 3 things to
blog about, it is simply finding the time to sit down with my thoughts and
write… for that I am sorry.
On to my thoughts….
5 months and 2 weeks old
today. I can’t believe it. I seriously can’t believe our baby girl is SITTING
UP all by herself! She has the most incredible laugh, she is holding her own
bottle, eating sweet potatoes, has her very own signature happy dance, and she is pretty much happy
all the time these days! I am loving this stage but sad that I missed out on so
much of her infancy because of my exhaustion and need to get back to the old
me as soon as possible. I wish I would have allowed everything to be as it was. I will certainly be more laid back with the second kiddo.
Sloan and I were driving back from the grocery store
this morning and the song “you’re gonna miss this” came on. I have always loved
this song because it was me in a nut shell. I was always looking forward to the
next stage in life. Here I am, almost 10 years out of high school and all of my
dreams have come true, I had a great job, married a great man (by great, I mean
incredible), lived in a super cute first home and made lots of great memories
and now live in my dream home that I get to bring my babies home to and watch
them grow up with the neighbor kids. God has given me everything I have ever
wanted.
This song now carries a new
meaning because I have a daughter that is out to conquer the world. Every day
she is doing something new and we praise her and give confidence to do
something else new but a day will come when I will want to push the breaks for
her so she can sit back and enjoy the ride. I don’t want her to be a grown up…
growing up is tough and full of heartbreak (i.e. .. having a child diagnosed
with a life shortening disease) I want her to be reflective in the moments she
has in her childhood. I hope that she has the very best childhood memories of
playing with the Bascik boys and following their big sister around wanting to
be just like her, of going to Amarillo and playing with her cousins, and of ski trips and boat trips that she will take with her daddy. I hope that she doesn’t rush out of high school and never
look back. I have lots of regrets… maybe not regrets but wish I would have done
some things different when it comes to maintaining friendships. Thank goodness
for Facebook!!
As I read through some of my
old posts the other day I just can’t believe how on point I was when I stated
what I wanted for our daughter. There is not a day that will go by that she
doesn’t know how loved and taken care of she is. In return, I want her to give
back to those that do not have the love and comfort that she has. I know it’s
early but I see a very kind heart in that little girl. She makes me so proud
when she smiles at a stranger.. I feel like she wants to make their day better.
I am so lucky to be Sloan’s mommy and love watching her grow and develop her
mind and body. I think she likes me but I don’t know if she will ever truly
understand the love I have for her until she holds her first born in her arms
and completely surrenders.
