The rest of the story

What a rat race parenthood is. We brought her home and there we were, the three of us.. well my parents too. When I left our house to go to the doctor on that Monday I didn’t know that was the last time I would be in our home as it had always been. Calm, everything in its place… The house was ready for a baby but I now realize that until you bring a baby into your world it doesn’t look like a baby lives there no matter how much baby stuff you have nicely in its place. When we pulled it to the driveway we told Sloan that this was her home. We walked her in to a freshly clean (sparkling clean) home and told her to make herself at home and then we took her to her room. She was home and I really think she liked it.

Now, almost 6 weeks later I look back and can’t believe we are still standing. I will admit it (not that there is anything to be ashamed of), I had the baby blues pretty bad. On top of the baby blues the first few days were stressful trying to get all of the CF stuff worked out. To be clear, there was no point during my baby blues that I wasn’t absolutely in love and cherished every moment with our princess but in every moment I wasn’t holding her, grasping on to the most perfect piece of me, I was trembling with sadness, overwhelmed with the unknown, and working hard to remember who I was on Monday morning before the doctor told me I was going to have a baby. My world was complete but I felt so alone.

I knew it was the case of the baby blues but in those moments it is hard to talk yourself out of it. Especially when you are sleep deprived! Now that I am getting into the swing of things again and getting into a good sleep schedule I am remembering what an awesome life I have and why I couldn’t wait to get this little princess here to join our family! She is spectacular. Over the last week I have witnessed her first “real” smile along with her cooing. She captivates us with her facial expressions (the only thing I can claim that she got from me at this time) and we are convinced that she already has a whole book in her head waiting to write.

She is adding more tricks to her belt each and every day. Each day she does something different and I find myself thinking “I really do have the smartest child on this planet!!” I am just so impressed! I also had the realization that she’s ours! I know that seems to be common sense but let me explain… I love my nephew, and my cousin’s kids so much. So much it hurts that I am not more a part of their life. The difference is I don’t have to give her back. I can love on her as much as I want to without having to share (expect with daddy of course) and I find that to be so rewarding! She is all mine! I


They don’t tell you .. well, people try to tell you but you don’t listen.. how hard it is when you become a parent. Nobody will ever understand until they go through it themselves. I get that now and I have a new found respect for all the women who have gone before me. I am praying for those women who are going through it with me and I am pretty sure the women who do it over and over again are insane (although I hope to be one of the insane one day.) I am loving our new life and finding myself in this whole thing every day.

Our Birth Story

Three weeks into mommy-hood and I still find it hard to believe I actually have her in my arms! 9 months of planning and dreaming of her never could have possibly prepared us for what the last three weeks have been like. We are so excited and exhausted in our new life as parents. It is true, no one, no matter how detailed their explanation is, can possibly prepare you for becoming a parent…. A mommy…

Our birth story goes like this.. One thing is for sure, if you plan it out it will not go your way.. Case I point. On Sunday, February 12th Jorde and I had a busy day planned with maternity pictures and being interviewed by the CF foundation for a video they are putting together for the big benefit being held in May. After the hustle bustle of the day had ended Jorde made some steaks and we sat down in front of the tv to enjoy what would be our last night without a baby’s schedule to tend to. I noticed that Sloan wasn’t her usual self. Normally after a big dinner like that I have no problem feeling her every movement but tonight was different. I decided to begin counting kicks. I hadn’t had to do this during the entire pregnancy. She has always been a busy baby. I got the 10 kicks I needed to assure myself that she was not in immediate danger but I wasn’t sold. I told Jorde that I would call the doctor first thing in the morning to get everything checked out.

The next morning came and I called my OB to see if I could move my appointment up a day (I was scheduled to go in the morning of the 14th.) they had me come in ASAP to ensure all was well. Sloan had the hiccups that morning but not much more movement so I was happy they were as concerned as I was. I got to the hospital at 9:00 and went to the sonogram lady first (not the specialist) to confirm that all of Sloan’s vitals were good but that she wasn’t moving a lot. In every sonogram visit I have, whether it be the specialist or the normal sonogram lady I always ask if she is gonna be a big baby. She has always measured big but the last month she was going down in the percentages. The tech told me that she was petite but that I had two more weeks to make up the weight.. “Ok” I thought. After that I met with my OB and my measurements had shrunk to 36 when I should have been measuring 38 or 39. This wasn’t as alarming as it seemed because the baby liked to lie sideways so I went wide before I went out. All the same my OB’s assistant made an appointment with my specialist for 1:00 that day. The specialist has a tech that comes in prior to him to run all the measurements. After both had done their measurements the specialist told me that Sloan has not grown in two weeks (the last appointment I had) and they feel it best to go ahead and deliver to ensure she is getting the proper nutrients she needs. They are not sure why the nutrients stopped getting to her but they just did. She was failure to thrive at this point. They went on to tell me that if I did not deliver we run a high risk of seriously injuring her including having a stillborn…. Scary??? ummm yeah but it was totally manageable. My motherly instinct (so my mom calls it) told me to go in and I did and this is what is best for my baby so I rested my worried mind with that and proceeded with allowing myself to enjoy the moments to come. The only problem was my phone had died during the 4 hours I was at the hospital. I called Jorde from the Doctor’s personal office and told him their findings. The call was one of concern but we ended it on a positive note with “WE’RE HAVING A BABY!!” after that I called my mom and then headed down to labor and delivery.

I had always imagined a scenario where I wake Jorde up in the middle of the night and we count contractions while we finish gathering our things for the hospital. Then, we go to the hospital together and he fills out the paperwork while they get me in a wheelchair and we smile lovingly at one another while we wait for them to get me logged in their system… scratch that! I went down all by myself with no phone while Jorde frantically rushed home to grab our bags (thank goodness we had everything but our toiletries packed) and take our dogs to the doggie day care. After that he got to the hospital and we ordered Chinese food.

We ended up inducing the labor and a little over 24 hours later I was pushing our beautiful baby girl into the world. I did have an epidural and was so thankful for it. Once I felt the contractions in full force I knew I was not strong enough to fight through the pain and I wanted to enjoy the last moments with my husband before two became three. I didn’t want to spend them in pain. The best part was, I didn’t feel any contraction after the epidural but I did get to feel our little girl enter the world. It was amazing! I had what was a called a light epidural and highly recommend it!

We were in active (pushing) labor for only 40 minutes. My mental state was that of an athlete. At one point I told Jorde that I have such a high I might not even cry when they give her to me. WRONG!! As soon as I felt her leave my body and they put her directly on top of my chest I cried the most amazing cry I have ever experienced! I am crying now just thinking about that cry! She was perfect! PERFECT! They let me hold her for a good five minutes before taking her to do her measurements. Jorde was mesmerized! We are complete!

Sloan Madison Scott entered the world at 8:16PM on Valentine’s Day 2012 weighing 5.10 and measuring 19.5 inches.